And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
