Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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