I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
