I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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