no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
