so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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