Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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