You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
