We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
