turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i will never coherently bang her
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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