Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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