I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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