I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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