im six kinds of drunk right now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
