That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
