It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
