there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
