fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
