did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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