yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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