is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
