sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
