the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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