i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
