no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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