since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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