The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
