I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
bring money and cleavage
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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