I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
