It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
