just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
