she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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