just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
