Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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