i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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