This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
