We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
