what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
