just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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