Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
