i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she smelled like a LAN party
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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