I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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