its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
