I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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