the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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