you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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