there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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