You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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