Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
