If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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