I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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